realize

atika dian permatasari's blog :)

8

2 july 2011

8 months ago..
do you remembered? i guess you dont :)
that was the day when you told me that you loved me at the first time..

tapi itu dulu kok..
sampai skarang mungkin kamu sendiri gk tau tanggal brapa kamu bilang itu..
dari dlu gk ada kata jadian yang terlontar dari percakapan kita..
sampai sekarang dimana kita udah saling anggep mantan..
aku masih ngitung..
sesuatu yang seharsnya udah gk keitung..
kapan itu harus gk keitung pun aku gak tau..
aku ngitung pun hanya dari waktu km blg km sayang aku :)
bingung nya aku, skrg kita udah saling anggep mantan..
tapi selama kita jadian itu ajaib banget..
gk ada kata "kamu mau jadi pcarku gak?"
gk ada peringatan udah brp lama kita jadian..
dan tiba2 ada kata " kita temenan aja"..
tapi setelah kata2 itu terucap, nothing happen..
kamu masih bilang sayang aku..
aku juga gtu..
tapi keadaan yang gak memungkinkan..
tapi kata2 sayang masih gk bisa di stop..
anggap aja kita udah temenan, tapi apa yang kita lakuin sama kayak org pacaran..
sometimes aku mikir..
knapa gk ada yang jelas?
keadaan? toh bisa backstreet..
mau di bilang kita gak pacaran itu emang, tapi apa yang kita lakuin tiap hari bsa dibilang kayak org pacaran..
kegiatan yg org pacaran lakuin juga kayak kita..
knapa gk di jelasin aja? toh sama aja..
bilang aja kita backstreet dari keadaan yang gk memungkinkan..
aku pikir juga gak ada bedanya hehehehehhe

hari ini kita 8 bulan..
sebelum tgl 2 kita udh brenti smsn..
kamu mau tidur..
aku pikir masih ada ingetan kamu hehehehe
tapi mungkin emg km gk pernah inget :)
lakuin apa yang menurut km terbaik..
aku masih sayang kamu..
walaupun rasa yg km punya udah berkurang buat aku..
kalo emg km ngerasa, hidup km bakal lebih baik tanpa aku..
silahkan hehehhe
aku slalu brdoa kalo emg kamu udh gk sayang sama aku, km bkal dapet yg terbaik buat km :)
goodluck :D

at that time

The time when you said "do as you want. Done"
I don't know what is "done" means here..
I think maybe done between you and i.
We were done it since some months before, weren't we?
I can't figure everything what i feel now
You've done.
I see..
This is your step for make me "don't love you" anymore..
I was ever told you, if you do that. It will more hurt me.
Thanks for everything.
Thanks for accompany me to watched creek yesterday.
Thanks for the time you spent with me.
Thanks for always accompany my days, although it just by message.
Thanks for always busted my mood.
Thanks for always understood me.

We still have good conversation 2 hours ago.
But then it was changed.
you changed it become a nightmare.
Something that i've never though before..
that was happen..
And i don't know. It happened without any reason..
You didn't want me to know.
Sleep tight boy..

mistake

It was 7months old..
You and i..
That's our relation..
In 7 months, i have done many many mistake..
Although, i've tried to never hurt you..
But, uncontrolly i did it..
That's we called human..
I've tried to understand you, never make you sad, and try to never make any mistake to you..
I really love you..
Forgive me, if you thought i've done to many mistake or have hurt your heart for many times..
I was never mind to do something like that to you..
Maybe the other girls will never hurt you like i did..
I'm too stupid was make something wrong to you..
That's not your fault if your love to me was decreased..
Cause i know, a little mistake i've done will give many respond to you..
That's my consequence of done mistake..
I've thought it know..
I thought, maybe the reason of you was decreased your love was by my self..
You'll never do that if never do any mistake to you..
The only thing i can hope, you can find the better one..
Someone who will never hurt you..
Someone who can understand you more..
Someone who really love you..
Someone who can make you always smile..

You can leave me anytime you want, cause i know it's all because of what i've done..
Thanks for always understand me..
I'm still loving you :)

classmate

bener-bener gak terasa..
udah hampir setahun bareng temen2 kelas sepuluh lima..
bukan waktu yang singkat supaya kami bisa se akrab dan se asik sekarang ini..
bentar banget rasanya udah mau pencar sama mereka..
apalagi kebanyakan dari mereka pasti tujuannya masuk ipa kan yaa..
aku dari dulu mau ips..
skarang aku bimbang..
ak gk mau kehilangan temen-temenku..
aku sedikit takut kalo di ips ntr aku malah gak punya temen2 yang seasik mereka..
esp. 35692730
aku pengen masuk ipa, karna masih ada kemungkinan sekelas sama temen-temenku..
tapi masa' iya sih, keputusan aku yang udah bulat sejak aku smp itu aku rubah hanya karna gk mau pisah ?
pada akhirnya semuanya pasti pisah..
mau gak mau, kita masing-masing punya jalan hidup kita yang beragam..
toh pada akhirnya entar aku gak mungkin pekerjaan bakal sama juga seperti mereka..
jujur aku berasa mimpi kalo tau tadi itu kelas terakhir bareng di sepuluh lima..
tadi beda banget kayak biasanya..
kita bareng terus sampek jam 2an..
meskipun di kelas kami yang cewek terbentuk jadi beberapa golongan..
tapi aku gk mau pisah..
gak hanya itu, lovelife pertamaku di sma ini juga sama sepuluh lima hehehehe
gak mau rasanya pisah sama kaliaaaaan..
tapi mau gimana lagi..
udah jalan nya kita disuruh pisah kayaknya hehehe..
semoga kita bisa berhasil sesuai dengan tujuan kita masing2 ya teman hehehhehe

YOU

you’re the man what i’m waiting for..

i usually wait for your message..

i have tried to be better than before..

i have tried to understand you..

i usually searching for you, when we were losing contact..

i have tried to forget about my prestige..

i have tried to text you first..

i have tried to stop share all about us to the other who don’t have any matter..

i have tried to be your mood buster although not always maybe rarely..

i have tried to never hurt you..

i have tried to keep your heart..

i have tried many things for you. but i’m so sorry. when i can’t do it as well as you thought. sorry for ever make you disappointed with what i’ve done. sorry for any mistakes i have done for you..

thanks for forgive any mistakes i have done to you..

thanks for always understand what i mean..

thanks for your attention for me..

thanks for everything have you given to me..

and the last, thanks for much of love have you given to me :)

ily:)

missing you

that was so complicated..

when you going to miss someone, and then the topic of conversation will be end..

you should choose..

1. continue the conversation when he try to reply yours too short. maybe like "oh" "hmm", something like that

2. end the conversation. you don't reply their message cause you worried to disturb them.(in your mind, they're badmood)

then i chose the second one..

but see, until now i can't keep my conversation with him. he didn't text me, or say hi first? maybe he won't :)

i just wanna try to do it first, but maybe it will disturb you..

complicated time..

i miss you, but i can't contact you. i'm just your friend. same as the other. i haven't the right to know more about you..

i just can wait.. wait a good thing will happen :)

i always wish everything the best for you, cause i'm still loving you :')

waiting time

i was waiting for you..

i thought that you didn’t reply my message..

but i was wrong..

your message was pending, and you didn’t know about it..

you thought that i didn’t reply yours, same as my mind..

when i thought that you didn’t reply mine, then i was looking for you..

i tried to online on my y!m but my status was invisible..

cause you was there..

“should i chat you first, when you ignored my message?”

that was the question on my mind when i thought you didn’t reply mine..

unexpectedly, you chat me first..

then you said that you’ve replied my message..

i really sorry about it..

i was thinking to much negative about you..

but i love you :’)

visit to my tumblr

sometimes i wanna post just a little story consist of less than 20 sentences. finally i found the right place. i post it on my tumblr. you can read and also follow my tumblr if you feel interest with mine.i have post many picture and it's connected with my feeling when i post that. this is my tumblr link

http://www.tikadp.tumblr.com

thanks for your attention guys, hope you enjoy it ;)